


Lawyering

by Missy



Category: Futurama
Genre: Ensemble Cast, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mystery, Yuletide Madness, Yuletide Treat, mysterious packages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 08:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16594145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: When a mysterious delivery robot passes out at the Planet Express office, it's up to caffeinated law student Amy and a curious Fry (and the rest of the PE Crew...mostly) to help figure out who he is and what's in the box he's delivered.





	Lawyering

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluemoonrune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonrune/gifts).



It was a normal day at Planet Express when the front door blew open. 

The person standing on the doorstep was a sturdy-looking grey robot with a locked box in his pincers. He held them out and up. “Delivery for Planet Express,” he said, and then passed out.

The employees of the business gathered together and circled around the robot’s inert form. “Hey,” Bender said, “who ordered the Faint-O-Gram?”

“No one,” Amy said. “Those got outlawed in Fainting Goat versus Happy Goat Slurm two years ago!”

“Hey, since when do you know so much about the law?” Bender asked.

“Since I started taking extra courses at night!” Amy said.

“Oh. That explains why you’re shaking like a paint mixer,” said Bender.

“The caffeine is good for my teeth!” she growled, and drank a little more.

“He looks friendly!” Fry said. “Let’s check his pockets!”

“On it,” Bender said. He was already rooting through them anyway.

“Bender,” Leela sighed, “I don’t want to rob the man, I want to know who he is!”

“And if he has any delicious snacks in his puss pockets!” Zoidberg said.

“Spleeshus,” Amy sighed. “Fry, help me get this guy to the couch in the lounge.”

“On it!” he said, and poked himself in the eye while trying to salute her.

*** 

Fry was put in charge of watching over the unconscious robot while everyone tried to use what was in his pockets to figure out who he was. Unfortunately, a crumbled coupon to Googletron’s Calzones, two bucks and a paperclip didn’t do much to dispel the mystery.

“Maybe he’s a traveler from the past! Sent to warn us about the evils of paperclips!” said Farnsworth.

“That’s a wild leap,” said Leela. 

“I wouldn’t say so! Why he might have come from Fry’s time.” Farnsworth shouted, “Fry! Did your primitive ancestors worship paperclips?” 

“What?” Fry yelled back “no!”

“The mystery bubbles!” said Zoidberg, with awe in his voice.

“Maybe we should open the box,” Hermes said, the shouting having finally dislodged him from his office by the noise.

“Who’s it addressed to?” Leela asked.

“Pullup J. Frylock!” said Zoidberg as he scanned the package.

“Zoidberg, you ninny! That can’t be…” Farnsworth trailed off and read the address over his shoulder. “Well. That’s exactly who the addressee is.” 

“Any return address?” asked Leela.

“Nope!” said Bender. “Hey Fry, can we open your dumb package?”

“Sure!” Fry said. The robot on the couch was beginning to stir. “Hey man. Want some oil?” he asked.

*** 

They had gathered in a neutral space in the hanger, in the odd case of their being an explosion. “Hmm. What do you suppose this is?” asked Leela. Because what was in the box, buried under layers of tissue paper, was a small tin speckled with flowers.

“Maybe it’s a bunch of sewing supplies!” said Hermes.

“Dry, flavorless cookies covered with sugar?” suggested Professor Farnsworth.

“Where?! Can I have some?” Zoidberg asked.

“Whatever it is, it’s wedged on tight!” said Leela.

“Everybody stand closer!” said Bender. “I’m gonna burn the seal with my laser attachment!”

“Bender!” Leela complained.

“Wait, everybody!” shouted Fry. “He’s awake!”

The deliverybot stumbled into the room with a can of motor oil with a straw stuck in it. “I’m sorry, I was running low on energy. Mom doesn’t pay us the highest of wages,” he said. “Package for Pullup J. Frylock!”

“I’m Pullup J. Frylock!” Fry said.

“Package from Mom!” he said, and pulled a clipboard from his chest compartment. Fry signed for it, and then the board made a beep as it accepted the signature. “Sorry for troubling you folks.”

“It’s quite all right,” said Farnsworth with a sigh. “Fry, open the blasted package and then get back to work!”

“Didn’t you get it open?” said Fry.

“Well, no,” admitted Farnsworth. “It seems to be stuck fast and tight!”

“Hmm,” Fry bent over the tin. With a quick twist of his wrist, he pulled the top of the tin free and rustled aside the green tissue paper cover. “They’re…little mothballs?”

“No, they’re pfeffernusse cookies!” said Farnsworth. “Mom’s famous brand. They’re delicious, and good for extra insulation if your house is drafty! It’s likely a thank-you gesture from our last delivery.” He frowned. “The woman remains maddening.”

“Give me!” said Zoidberg. Fry held it out at a distance from Zoidberg, preventing him from stealing it.

“No, Zoidberg! I wanna share with everyone!”

“And that’s what makes this country great!” Amy said. Then she began to snore. Standing up with her eyes wide open.

“Oh, brother,” said Leela. “I’m going to take Amy to the lounge and close her eyes. The rest of you try not to kill Fry for his cookies.”

“Forget the cookies! Gimmie the tin! Maybe I can hock it to a rich widow!” Bender yelled.

“Um,” the delivery robot said, as a merry cacophony filled the room. “I don’t suppose I’ll be getting a tip?”


End file.
